::School Week:: Fountains of Wayne - Too Cool For School

Although they may have written "Stacy's Mom," that ridiculous song from the early 2000s, Fountains of Wayne are still pretty cool. Its just fun to listen to their goofy style of pure power pop. Chris Collingwood and Adam Schlesinger can write some catchy tunes.

This song was taken from the Scary Movie soundtrack and has a bit of a 60s vibe from the very first distorted chord that sounds exactly like the opening to "A Hard Days Night." It keeps up the fun 60s pop feel as it plays out, even including an organ solo.

He walks alone under the big city lights
He always knows just when the time is right
He never shows what he's thinking
He keeps it inside
Because he's too cool for school

He comes alive when the sun goes down
He gets it right
You know he's always down
He's got one eye open and his ear to the ground
Man he's too cool for school

He's an operator
He's a real player
And if you mess with him
You know you'll never win
He's an instigator
Enemy eliminator
And when he knocks you better
You better let him in

He's got his own way of getting things done
He's always looking out for number one
Don't try to beat him 'cause he's already won
Man he's too cool for school

He's an operator
He's a real player
And if you mess with him
You know you'll never win
He's an instigator
Enemy eliminator
And when he knocks you better
You better let him in

He walks alone under the big city lights
He always knows just when the time is right
He never shows what he's thinking
He keeps it inside
Because he's too cool for school
Because he's too cool for school
Because he's too cool for school 

::School Week:: Vampire Weekend - Campus

Well, I give up on the whole finding a positive song about school. And you know what? Its because school sucks. Sure you learn some stuff and I'm definitely not advocating dropping out of school, but I'm not advocating not dropping out school either. Learn what you want to learn for the love of Pete. And who knows, maybe something good can come out of school. Like a fling with a foxy professor, which is what our next song deals with.

Vampire Weekend's first self titled album blasted them into fame after they graduated from a New York prep school. Sure they may be a couple of smart rich J.Crew kids who sing about Oxford Commas, rickshaws, diplomats and ion displacement, but, hey, its good music. "Campus" is, as stated, about a lustful semester with a purdy prof. The ascending bass and bright, cheery synths give this song a very happy energetic feel, and who can resist cracking a smile at the line "I spilled kefir on your keffiyeh?"

I wake up
My shoulder's cold
I've got to leave here
Before I go
I pull my shirt on
Walk out the door
Drag my feet along the floor
I pull my shirt on
Walk out the door
Drag my feet along the floor

Then I see you
You're walking cross the campus
Cruel professor
Studying romances
How am I supposed to pretend
I never want to see you again?
How am I supposed to pretend
I never want to see you again?

Walk to class
In front of ya
Spilled kefir
On your keffiyah
You look inside
And turn to the door
Drag your feet across the floor

Then I see you
You're walking cross the campus
Cruel professor
Studying romances
How am I supposed to pretend
I never want to see you again?
How am I supposed to pretend
I never want to see you again?

In the afternoon
You're out on the stone and grass
And I'm sleeping on the balcony
After class

::School Week:: Supertramp - Logical Song

Ok, so school's not all bad right? I mean the whole purpose is to gain logic, yeah? So let's focus on that. Enter, Supertramp's "The Logical Song". Supertramp are a British rock band from the 70s, who's album, Breakfast In America  made it big in...America.

So it starts off nice with a synth melody, and some description of a fine childhood with singing nature and playful attitude. And... oh come on. Yup. More negativity. I mean sure it's all true, what with the forcing children to fit into this predetermined mold of society but there's gotta be something good about it. Right? Anyway the song continues on with some great rhyming patterns, digital sound effects and a killer sax solo near the end. The search continues.

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily,
oh joyfully, oh playfully watching me.
But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible,
logical, oh responsible, practical.
And then they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical.

There are times when all the world's asleep,
the questions run too deep
for such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
but please tell me who I am
I said now watch what you say they'll be calling you a radical,
a liberal, oh fanatical, criminal.
Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're
acceptable, respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable!
Oh Take it take it yeah!

But at night, when all the world's asleep,
the questions run so deep
for such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
but please tell me who I am,
Who I am x 3 !!!

Who knows who's so logical.

::School Week:: Steely Dan - My Old School

YACHT ROCK!!! Yes, I admit it. I LOVE Steely Dan. Perhaps I may be a little biased on this considering my dad and his 10 brothers and 3 sisters all basically raised me on this music, but they are an incredibly talented band. Family events seldom go by without either Pretzel Logic or Cant Buy a Thrill being played at least once.

Anyway, this song, "My Old School," is finally one of those positive songs I was talking about. Donald Fagen gets all nostalgic about his old school during the verses and then the chorus...wait. Crap. "Im never going back to my old school." So I guess this isn't a positive song about school. And it turns out the song is also about how a girl dumped him. Well, shucks. Next song will have to be a positive one then.

 I remember the thirty-five sweet goodbyes
When you put me on the Wolverine
Up to Annandale
It was still September
When your daddy was quite surprised
To find you with the working girls
In the county jail
I was smoking with the boys upstairs
When I heard about the whole affair
I said oh no
William and Mary won't do
CHORUS:
Well I did not think the girl
Could be so cruel
And I'm never going back
To my old school

Oleanders growing outside her door
Soon they're gonna be in bloom
Up in Annandale
I can't stand her
Doing what she did before
Living like a gypsy queen
In a fairy tale
Well I hear the whistle but I can't go
I'm gonna take her down to Mexico
She said oh no
Guadalajara won't do

CHORUS

California tumbles into the sea
That'll be the day I go
Back to Annandale
Tried to warn you
About Chino and Daddy Gee
But I can't seem to get to you
Through the U.S. Mail
Well I hear the whistle but I can't go
I'm gonna take her down to Mexico
She said oh no
Guadalajara won't do

CHORUS 

::School Week:: Andrew Bird - Measuring Cups

Andrew Bird the whistling minstrel from Chicago has been on this blog before, but this song fits the week so well. At first, I wasn't a huge fan of this album, The Mysterious Production of Eggs but the more and more I listen to it, its probably becoming my favorite.

This song, "Measuring Cups" immediately grabs you with the "bum buh buh bum" hook at the beginning and holds you all the way to the final abrupt ending. It's also about something that I myself agree with which is that some methods of learning and the act of censorship are ruining some children's development. You have no idea how mad I was when I heard that some school tried to ban Mark Twain from their curriculum. Anyway here are the lyrics, which are probably some of my favorite ever. Also, I promise there will be some scholastic themed songs that are positive this week. Just let me find some first.


get out your measuring cups and we'll play a new game
come to the front of the class and we'll measure your brain
we'll give you a complex and we'll give it a name
get out your measuring sticks and we'll play a new game
can't have the cream when the crop and the cream are the same
liquid or gas no more than the glass will contain
so you talk about a hand of glory
a tale that's rather grim and gory
is it just another children's story
that's been de-clawed?
when the tales of brothers Grimm and Gorey
have been outlawed
I think they're gonna make you start over you don't want to start over
put your backpack on your shoulder be the good little soldier
take your places now
'cause we're all predisposed
measuring cups play a new game
front of the class measure your brain
give you a complex give it a name
put your backpack on your shoulder
be the good little soldier
it's no different when your older
you're predisposed
that's all for questions now
the case is closed!

::School Week:: The Smiths - Headmaster Ritual

This week, since most colleges are kicking off another semester, I thought I'd look into songs about school. Songs that reminisce about the good old days, songs that sing the joys of learning, or, perhaps the more accurate topic, songs about how much school can suck.



First off, I will not be putting KISS on this list. I'm sorry to any KISS fans, but I don't consider them a real band. A real band, The Smiths, did however put out an album called Meat Is Murder and that is where my first entry is from. The Smiths are a very influential band that led rise to many indie bands of today.

This song is called "Headmaster's Ritual." Morrissey, the lead singer, croons in every sense of the word here as his eccentric voice sings of how awful school can be for a child between tortured puppy dog moans. Johnny Marr's distinctive guitar arpeggios float along with a shiny, bright tone that give the song that Smiths feel. I suppose not really the best, happiest song to kick off a semeseter, but still a good song.

Belligerent ghouls
run Manchester schools
spineless swines
cemented minds
Sir leads the troops
jealous of youth
same old suit since 1962
he does the military two-step
down the nape of my neck
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay
give up education
as a bad mistake
mid-week on the playing fields
Sir thwacks you on the knees
knees you in the groin
elbow in the face
bruises bigger than dinner plates
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay

Belligerent ghouls
run Manchester schools
spineless bastards all
Sir leads the troops
jealous of youth
same old jokes since 1902
he does the military two-step
down the nape of my neck
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay
give up life
as a bad mistake
please excuse me from the gym
I've got this terrible cold coming on
he grabs and devours
kicks me in the showers
and he grabs and devours
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay

::Names Week:: Flight of the Conchords - Carol Brown

And to finish off Names Week is the grand finale: Flight of the Conchords - Carol Brown, from their second album I Told You I Was Freaky. This album accompanied the second season of their short lived hit show which portrayed two struggling Kiwi musicians trying to make it in the Big Apple. This is the song with the  most names dropped in it all week so I thought it'd make a good culmination entry.

Just watch and laugh and let the sappy hilarious lyrics and the bosa nova, 8-bit sounds tickle your humor button. Bret and Jemaine are truly the kings of humorous folk duos. Ooo, we can eat cereal.

Loretta broke my heart in a letter
she told me she was leaving and her life would be better
Joan broke it off over the phone
after the tone, she left me alone

Jen said she’d never see me again
When I saw her again, she said it again
Jan met another man
Leeza got amnesia
just for got who I am

Felicity said there was no electricity
Emily, no chemistry
Fran ran, Bruce turned out to be a man
Flo had to go, I couldn’t go with the flow
Carol Brown just took a bus out of town
But I’m hoping the you’ll stick around

[Ex-Girlfriends]
He doesn’t cook or clean
he’s not good boyfriend material
[Jermaine]
Ooh, we can eat cereal
[Girlfriends]
He’ll lose interest fast
His relationships never last
[Jermaine]
Shut up, girlfriends from the past
[Girlfriends]
He says he’ll do one thing
and then he goes and does another thing
[Jermaine]
Oh, who organized all my ex-girlfriends
into a choir and got them to sing?
[Girlfriends]
ahh, ahh, ahh, ahhh ah-ah
[Jermaine]
Mmm Shut Up
[Girlfriends]
Ahh ahh ahhh aha ah
[Jermaine]
Shut up girlfriends from the past

Mimi will no longer see me
Britney, Britney hit me
Paula, Persephone, Stella and Stephanie
There must be fifty ways the lovers have left me
Carol Brown just took a bus out of town

Love is a delicate thing
It could just float away in the breeze
[Girlfriend]
He said the same thing to me
[Jermaine]
How can we ever know
we’ve found the right person in this world?
[girlfriends]
He means he looks at other girls
[Jermaine]
Love is a mystery
It does not follow a rule
[Girlfriends]
He’ll always be a boy
He’s a man who never grew up
[Jermaine]
I thought I told you to shut u-u-up
Ahh ahh ahhh ah-ah-ah [continued]

Mona you told me you were in a coma
Tiffany you said that you had an epiphany
Would you like a little cereal
Who organized this choir of ex-girlfriends?
Was it you, Carol Brown Was it you Carol Brown

Carol Brown just took a bus out of town
But I’m Hoping that you’ll stick around
Stick around do do do do do do
Stick around do do do do do
Srick around do do do do
Stick around